…ok, well, it never really went away.
In fact, it’s growing. And, quite frankly, it’s freaking me the hell out. Stop it.
As all 7 of you know, Bearduardo made his first appearance a few months ago and has overstayed his welcome. At first, I was lenient. Curious, even. And you know, I gotta admit, Brian does look pretty damn good for a rugged, bearded manly boyman when Bearduardo is tamed and behaving himself. Observe:
I don’t quite know what’s happened, but this hairy alien leech growing on Brian’s lower face region is…exploring the space. Bearduardo has reached maturity and apparently wants to be set free out into the world. Sow his wild thick, kinky oats. Sasquatch Cheeks has already stabbed me repeatedly in the upper lip, and that last time I was barely able to escape unscathed. It’s getting so precarious that I’m afraid to go to sleep at night. I have nightmares that long, rough, hairy tentacles will slink across the pillow and take me out of the equation so Brian and Bearduardo can have a long, happy, hairy life together. *shudder*
Since I’m convinced Beardy-Boy has grown ears beneath all that keratin, I have attempted to give Brian nonverbal feedback about the diabolical toll Bearduardo is taking as well as my growing discomfort and upchuck reflex. Observe:
And I haven’t even gone into how I find little Bearduardo droppings in my pink bathroom cup every other morning. Sigh.
Look, I’ve seen Little Shop of Horrors and I know how this story ends. I just hope I can get to the shaving cream before it’s too late.