Client: Melissa, author of Psychobabble
- Client reports coping with several simultaneous and exciting-yet-stressful transitions: relocating to another state, becoming a mom, and choosing to temporarily leave the workforce.
- Client reports sleep deprivation-induced ice cream binges, inability to wear pants, and a profound loss of sanity.
- Client is a Licensed Professional Counselor who enjoys connecting with people, long walks on the beach, and Freudian slips.
- Client reports being born and raised in Northern California and desperately misses it after relocating to the Portland, Oregon area.
- Client began blogging in 2012 in an attempt to appease the voices echoing in her head.
On a good day, Client can string together words to form complete sentences, prevents her two young children from killing themselves or each other, and showers. On average days, she demonstrates questionable judgment by wearing sweet potato puree and saying it’s good for the skin…and hair…and inner ear.
Client appears moderately manic at times, especially when rage-cleaning the kitchen while yelling at the Kardashians on TV and binge eating cheesy blasters.
Client is only a danger to herself or others if there is a shortage of goldfish crackers in her household.
- Severe Theobromine Dependence, Type I
- Social Anxiety Awkwardness
- Moderate Introvertism
- Acute Mama-itis
- Blog regularly, with additional middle-of-the-night rants as needed.
- Continue current ice cream regimen.
- Attempt to wear pants at least three times per week, weather permitting.
Now eat this gouda and call me in the morning.