I can’t multitask and neither can you

I think the reason why I am such a sucky blogger (read: why I don’t blog every day or even every other day) is because I can’t multitask.

I watch TV and have my laptop on my lap (where it should be), its hunka hunka burnin’ love battery slowly burning a hole down into the top of my left thigh, and I find that I am either engrossed in writing my post and I just missed Jon Stewart’s last three jokes, or I am laughing hysterically, gazing into his steely-grey pools of truth, my hands limply hovering over the keyboard.

This leaves me with a choice.  Do I have a life, or do I blog?

But if I don’t have a life, I’ll have nothing to blog about!

So I alternate.

I do fun things, and then time stops so I can blog about them.  You know, like Evie Garland from Out of This World, one of the best TV shows from my adolescence.  Oh, the possibilities!  Oh, to have the stunning blond basketball star Chris as a boyfriend!  To have an alien dad talk to me from a glowing box!  To have….Uncle Beeno!

I maintain that humans are incapable of multitasking.  I don’t care who protests, it just ain’t true.  When your brain is doing Thing 1, you have all your neurons working on it.  The second you add in Thing 2 (or try to), the quality of your work on both tasks plummets, and you actually have to split attention between the two; attention is not being paid simultaneously, at least not conscious attention.

For this reason, it is no one’s business to text and drive, or even talk using a hands-free device while driving.  It just can’t be done well or safely.  I can’t do it, and I know none of y’all can do it.

But I digress.

How do you writers do it?  I imagine writers have writing time and then living time…but if writers are writing all the time for a living (ha), then are they living less?  Do y’all feel like time stands still when you write?

Now I’ll allow this LSD trip to run its course while all of you enlighten me on these very important questions.