Amber Waves of Matrimony

Hello, readership.  I’ve missed you.  Have you missed me?  Don’t answer that.

Did you know that planning a wedding can be very hard?  Yup, this Mutha Fackin’ Marriage and Family Therapist is getting married.  Making it honest.  But honestly, how do people plan a wedding and see their clients and manage a therapy department AND write blog posts?   Paging Wonder Woman!

It’s like that pie chart y’all saw in college: in the legend you have school, friends, and sleep.  And that pie only gots room for two.  Mmm, pie.

Right now Brian and I are looking for a venue.

It’s hard because we have taste.  Normal people might call this being picky, but I just call them a-holes.

We have this vision of what we want, and we are surprised and frustrated that we haven’t found it yet.  Picture this:  it’s a hill in the countryside of Northern California.  There is dead, dry golden grass.  There are gorgeous, twisty oak trees.  The sun is setting and it gives everything a warm, golden glow.  There’s a barn that’s rustic but not too dirty or full of horse poop.  Maybe an animal or two, just hanging out.  And there we are, stuffing cake into the other’s face, acting all lovey-dovey you could just ralph.

*cue angels singing*

Doesn’t that sound amazing?!

That was the environment in which we met and started dating at this summer camp for kids, and it was kindof awesome.

That’s all well and good, but it seems to be proving hard to find a venue that is rustic but not too rustic, and that is conducive to having a wedding, but not so conducive that it’s like a freaking wedding factory.

And then once I find a venue (or once I get so desperate for a venue) that looks pretty cool, isn’t perfect, but I could see it working, then Brian vetoes it.  And vice versa.

Dear, sweet mother of god I hope marriage doesn’t require so much freaking compromise, because I am already sick of it.

Someone give me a barn along with an unlimited amount of money, stat.