Winter is Coming, but first- Halloween!

It’s time for my obligatory Halloween post, you guys.

For those of you who breathe air, you probably already know how much I dig Halloween.  If not, please search “Halloween” on my blog and read up about all my old DIY costumes.

This year was special because it was our first All Hallow’s Eve as a family of four!  I was brainstorming Halloween costumes even before I was pregnant, because priorities.

You probably know my rules: the costumes have to be specific (like actual characters from a show and not just ‘a pirate’), they have to be relevant (not outdated. And for the record, Star Wars is NEVER outdated), and they have to be mostly DIY, not bought all prepackaged.  My partner and I were debating between two costume ideas: Ghostbusters (we’d be the busters, the kids would be ghosts) or Game of Thrones.  GB would be much easier to make, but less relevant.  GoT was much more relevant, but harder to scrape together.  Welllllll, once we saw the season finale of GoT, our minds were made up.  Just in case, this is your official SPOILER ALERT if you’re not caught up on Game of Thrones.

Once one of the dragons bit it, I turned to Brian.

“This is it!!  There’s only two now!  It’s PERFECT!”

Two dragons = two children.  Therefore, I am the Mother of Dragons.  The Breaker of Chains.  Khaleesi.  Daenerys Targaryn.

“And you can be Jon Snow now because they’re a thing!  But we’ll just overlook the aunt/nephew situation.”

I enlisted the help of my mom to make this dream come true, and Halloween history was made.

cropped fam copy

Faces blurred to protect the innocent


I found my dress at Goodwill and my friend helped me chop off the sleeves and change the hemline.  I bought fabric at the fabric store (!) to match the dress and made a very makeshift cape.  The boots and leggings were already mine.  The wig was bought online and I actually braided it and styled it myself.

Brian’s wig was bought online.  He’s wearing a cheap black shirt with a kid’s plastic shield pinned to the chest bought at the dollar store with two black belts criss-crossed across the whole thing and fastened in the back.  He’s wearing a black furry pimp coat from Goodwill for bulk and a black cape over it.  Pinned to the black cape is a furry black scarf because Jon Snow loves him some fur (BUT NO ONE UP NORTH EVER WEARS A HAT! WTF?!).  He grew a beard for the occasion and finishes off the look with the only black boots he owns, his rain boots.  Because #pacificnorthwest.

My mom really came through for the kids’ costumes.  First we bought matching green shirts and pants, and then my mom made the felt hats, capes, and socks/claws.  I love how the hats and capes are exactly the same, just different color schemes.  Dragon sib-lings! And my son’s claws are on oversized green socks that fit right over his shoes. Cutest fire-breathing dragons this side of Westeros!

Now let’s go conquer up some mystical kingdom, shall we?

NaBloPoMo Day 4



The Force is Strong with this Halloween

You all know by now how much I love Halloween, right?

This year was my son’s third Halloween, and my first Halloween being pregnant.  What a fun challenge – I got to figure out a family costume that included my growing belly!

It had to be current, relevant, and easy enough to make or put together for cheap.

After floating around a few ideas, we decided on a Star Wars theme. I’d only ever done Queen Amidala in high school and I don’t think Brian had ever donned a costume from a galaxy far, far away, so this was gonna be fun!

We’d talked about doing D as Yoda and Brian as the Luke-who-carries-Yoda-around-Dagobah for last year’s Halloween, but I can’t remember why we passed on that.  Since D was just barely walking at that point, it would have been pretty perfect; I would have made a pretty awesome Leia, too.  I suppose, looking back, that the lure of the crazy circus election at the time was too good to pass up.  Little did I know that dressing as Hillary and dressing my kid up as Trump would be so scarily on point just a short (long?) year later.

Anyway, I digress.  This year, I couldn’t be a pregnant Leia.  That would be weird.  And not when my babydaddy was dressed as Luke.  Even weirder.

Soooo… baby bump dressed as the Death Star.  And there you have it, a pretty cool growing-family Halloween costume was born!


Being a Halloween purist, I put these costumes together (with huge help from my mom) instead of buying them premade.

I drew the Death Star freehand with black sharpies.

My mom made D’s Yoda hat (which he loved!), his robes are just big t-shirts, and the light saber (not pictured) is from the Dollar Store.

All of Luke’s gear is thrift store finds, we just cut off the sleeves and cut strips of fabric for his super stylish gators.

Overall, we had a great Halloween!  The weather was great (read: not raining) and D enjoyed trick-or-treating enough that we stayed out for about an hour.  It was actually me needing to go home at the end, because this Death Star needed to pee and rest her pregnant feet.

I hope y’all had a great Halloween, too!

May the Force be with you, Psychos.

Happy Belated Halloween

You guys know how much I love Halloween.

And so I couldn’t let it go by without concocting some sort of costume for myself, babydaddy, and nearly 3 month old little duck.

If I had my act together a nanny and tons of sleep, time, and money I would have made Brian be a sexy pilot (because he already is one), I’d be a sexy flight attendant (because I aspire to be one), and Little Duck would have been a sack of peanuts.

Maybe next year.  I’ll just have to stop feeding Dylan to make sure he’s still tiny and able to fit in said peanut sack.

For this year, I decided to go easy.  The D-man would be the cutest Pumpkin Spice Latte in the whole world and Brian and I were baristas.  It fit because Dylan is sweet, expensive, and we made him with love.  And extra foam.

First I looked on the Starbucks website to see if I could buy the green aprons that the employees wear, but I needed an employee number in order to do so.  Nards.  So I went to Amazon and tried looking there, and found some for like $60 soooo I decided to make my own.  I just bought green aprons and ironed on the patches that I found on Amazon.  I also found the cute iron-on Starbucks logo that went on Dylan’s plain white onesie.  I glued a real Starbucks sleeve (I’m authentic, y’all) to some ribbon and tied it around Dylan’s cute waist.  I drew the drink option boxes and such on the back of the onesie freehand.  My friend helped me sew the foam for around his neck, and my mom made the pumpkin hat.



Happy belated Halloween, y’alls.

Halloween in District 12

Happy Halloween, Psychos!

As many of you know, Halloween is my all-time favorite holiday.  For those of you who don’t know, go here and here and then come back.

Last year, I was overcome with sadness because wedding planning had taken over my life and sucked time away that should have been spent making a brand new Halloween costume.  I was forced to reuse an older costume, but I vowed that I would get back into the spirit this year, and this woman keeps her Halloween vows.

Behold, my interpretation of Effie Trinket from The Hunger Games:

May the odds be ever in your favor!

May the odds be ever in your favor!

My awesome partner was Peeta Mellark from The Hunger Games:

I smell like doughy heaven

I smell like doughy heaven

For my costume, I bought the dress at a thrift store, I bought the amazing wig at a Halloween store (worth every penny), and my mom helped me sew the jacket so that I’d have appropriately shiny fabric and puffy sleeves.  Indeed, those sleeves are stuffed with tissue paper.  I got the flowers at the fabric store and pinned them into the wig, and pinned one on each shoe.

For the makeup, I actually used this old, bright pink blush because the color was perfect.  It’s on my eyes, cheeks, and lips.  I bought some tinsel eyelashes and cut them to look more shapely and dramatic.

Happy Hunger Games!

Happy Hunger Games!

For my partner’s costume, he bought the District 12 shirt online, and from what we can tell, it’s exactly like the one in the movie.  Then he added some black workout pants and black shoes and his natural charm, and BOOM, you got some hunky dude whose warm arms smell just like freshly baked bread.

Bet you never knew there was a secret fling between the two, right?  I mean, how else did Peeta actually make it through the games?!

Love is hate

Love is hate

Have fun this Halloween!!!  How do you celebrate this fantastic holiday??


Guess what?!  I just brought more crazy to Facebook!  I wasn’t even sure that was possible, but I dream big.  Liking Psychobabble on Facebook is like putting on a nice, snug straightjacket to give yourself a hug!

Hello, Gorgeous!

My photographer said that the 40s could be summed up with an “Oh, my!” and a skirt twirl.

…we’ll see if that comes through in the photos.

*I am wolf-whistling at myself as I look at this*
Thems victory post-war birthing hips.

Thems victory post-war birthing hips.

Basically, I was born in the wrong decade.  My hips belong in the 40s and 50s and my feminist brain belongs in the 60s and 70s.  And I think I lost my ovary in the Great War.

Anyone call for…..a pilot?!

This is like the best picture ever.  Brian’s inner child was squealing with joy like a greased pig who just outran Christmas dinner.  That, and he looks damn sexy.  Coolest part: there was no wind while this pic was taken.  Whaaaat.

I look forward to the professional images, because if we look this amazing on my iphone, we’re going to look like frickin old movie stars and shit.

Best part for me: I think I ended up looking a lot like my grandma.  Must unearth a picture of her for comparison.

Don’t forget, Psychos!  Send me emails to tell me how you’re gonna turn my online wedding to Shirtless Ryan Gosling into a drunken love circus!  I *just* found out he’s Canadian – what the what?!  I didn’t know they made beefcakes that beefy.   Deadline is March 31st.

This is not a blogpost.

I have zero energy today, and so this post isn’t really a post.  It’s a nonpost, an anti-post, if you will (will you?).  But I wanna post something, because I haven’t posted in a while.  So here’s a post.  Or not.

Brian and I are getting ready for another photo shoot this weekend – if the weather holds up, that is.  I am sooper excited because it involves Brian flying us around in an airplane, me getting to be a ham in front of a camera, aaaaaaand dressing up.  Like, in a costume.

We went and got said costumes last weekend and had a ton of fun trying them on, and I also did a trial run with my hairdo.

I feel the need...for victory rolls!

I feel the need…for victory rolls!

That’s right, bitches.  This is gonna be rockin’.

Also, consider this a reminder for all y’all who want to be a part of the online wedding action to be had this spring and summer:  I NEEDS THE EMAILS!  Please email me a little description of how you’re gonna wow and amaze me performing your chosen role in my online wedding to Shirtless Ryan Gosling.  Deadline is March 31st.  I think.  psychobabblepants at gmail dot com.

Also also, I am working on a real post.  A funny one.  When my body decides it no longer despises energy, I’ll throw it on up here.  Bible.


My Radical 80s-themed 30th Birthday Picture Gallery


Behold.  I never miss an awesome opportunity to dress up and make a fool out of myself.  These are my mom’s white pumps, my own leg warmers and tights, mini skirt and plus-sized pink shirt bought at a thrift store about 5 hours before this picture, that ring-doodle that my shirt is tied up with is fucking authentic – dates back to about 1988.  And then those shades were the best find ever at the thrift store for $1 (which is like $.05 in 80s money).


I started the evening off right.  White and red – I am an equal opportunity drinker.  Except tequila. And gin.  And whiskey.  Well, I like wine at least.


Disco lights at the bowling alley.  After a while, I didn’t know what decade I was in.


I am so glad I kept my crimping iron.  I am also glad that it stopped smoking just enough for me to get these salon-quality results without the salon price.

EDIT: Holy shitsnacks, you guys, I just realized that this is my 100th post.  I am glad it was a happy and fun one!

The stalks, they have ears

This past weekend, Brian and I followed tradition and hiked our way through (what was in 2007) the largest corn maze in the world!

This corn maze is grown and perfected every October, and if you’re ever in the vicinity of smalltown Dixon, California, I highly suggest you check it out.

This year it took us about an hour to get through, but that’s because there was pretty extensive wind damage and we were rerouted, bypassing a good chunk of maize maze…in years past, it’s taken us the better part of 2 hours to get through, and this is with a map, a compass, and water.

Did she say a map?

Why yes, that’s how crazy this maze is.  I seriously doubt you’d be able to make it through without the map.  Goodness knows I barely manage with the map.

each square is worth a few steps’ distance. yikes!

This year, we went through during the day, but the real fun is to go through after dark.  The corn is so high that any surrounding light from civilization is pretty well blocked out, and you need to bring your own light (red-filtered headlamps for us, because we’re badass like that).  The best part about night-mazing it up is to be able to sneak ahead of your group, hide in the corn, and then scare the living crapnuggets out of them.  Beware about scaring me, though, because I am always ready to impale zombies through their glazed eye sockets.

descending into the maze…

consulting the map cuz we be lost…

the corn goes as far as the eye can see!

the maze at night…pee-your-pants, zombie-eat-your-brains scary.

This year, we emerged triumphant, relatively unscathed, and picked out pumpkins to go home and carve.

we think this is our subconscious surfacing to say that marriage is terrifying.

To top off the weekend, Brian and I reprised our costumes as Queen of Hearts and Mad Hatter at my company Halloween party and we won second place!

yup, that’s fake blood on the mirror.

Happy Halloween, everyone!!