The weather has been cold and rainy lately and my energy level went way down. I wasn’t moving my body very much, and I’ve felt tired…but not a good tired. A yucky, blah, haven’t-used-my-body-so-I-feel-like-a-lump-tired.
So today I forced myself to put on my workout gear first thing. After breakfast, and after helping my son cut out 8465526289 paper geometric shapes for a school assignment, I put an exercise video up on the TV and got shit done.
And by got shit done, I mean I powered through amidst everyone and their mom trying to interrupt me with noise and feelings.
Instructor: C’mon ladies, let’s power through! Gimme more lift, and lift, and lift…
Me: Uuggghhhh lift…lift…keep lifting…
Daughter, who comes to sit down right next to me, almost touching: IMA DO YOGA TOO MOMMY! MOMMY WATCH! I’M DOING IT LOOOOOK!
Me, grunting: Y-yup. I see you. Good. job. Hey, could you scoot? I’d like some personal space.
Now side…to side…side…to side. C’mon!
Son: MOM! I’M STUCK! HOW DO I DOOOOOO THIIIIIS?!
Me: Figure it out, dude! Take a deep belly breath and try it again!
Son: BUT MOOOOOOOM!
Me: You got this, dude. I know you can do it all by yourself. This is my time right now.
Now crunch UP left, center, right, AND DOWN. Left! Center! Right! And down!
Daughter: Mommy, I’m tired. I want to be a ballerina INSTEAD!
Me: Cool. You do that. Fuck, I’m tired too.
Son: LOOK MOM I DID IT!!!!!
Me, without even looking: Great job, man! See I knew you could.
Now balance and lunge and pulse it and keep your core tight! Don’t stop now!
Me, (I turn to lunge and my daughter ballet-prances right into me, pushing me over as I lose my balance): Hey Little Miss, PLEASE give me some personal space, okay?
Daughter: OKAAAAY! She spin-dances away.
Now I want you to kick up and back but don’t sway those hips! You’ve got this ladies! Woo!
Me, huffing: You want us to do what?
Daughter, who shoots a nerf dart right past my torso: WEEEEEEE!
Me: Could you please stop shooting that in here? GO IN THE OTHER ROOM AND GIVE ME SOME SPACE!
Ten more reps, ladies! I can start to feel it now, I hope you can, too!
Me: Oh I can feel something, you chipper ass bitch.
Son: MOOOOM! I NEED HEEEELP!
Daughter: MOOOOM! WHEN ARE YOU GONNA BE DOOONE?!
The Cat, who walks underneath my body in a downward facing dog, looks up at my face: HOOOWL!!!!