So, for Christmas, Brian and I were given a fabulous sound system for our living room TV setup. We’re very excited about it.
Picture us with our toddler having our nightly pants-off dance-off in the living room, this time with better quality music.
Brian: (breathless) Man, it’s so great to have some bass in here!
Me: (equally breathless) …My butt has always been this big. And you’re welcome.
M: (seriously) Yes, I know! The sound quality is great! We should share this with the world!
B: You want me to turn it up?
M: No…we should do one better. We should throw a rave!!!!!!
B: (doing the running man) We totally should! We have those glowsticks left over from Halloween!
M: (doing the mashed potato) …AND WE HAVE PACIFIERS!!
My kid: (flailing wildly) YAAAAAA-YAAAAAAAA!!!!!
M: See?! Dylan thinks this is a rad idea and will have no trouble sharing his pacis.
B: But what can we offer our guests in terms of herbal refreshment?
M: Ummm…I still have a bottle of max-strength ibuprofen left over from delivering Dylan! Sure to give a medium-sized person some moderate anti-inflammatory action!
B: (doing the sprinkler) Cat tranquilizers!
M: (doing the roger rabbit) From our move up here! YEEEESSSS! Damn cat wouldn’t eat them, so it’s her loss!! And speaking of loss, everyone will have to surrender their pants at the door, in keeping with tradition.
B: We can throw in some Children’s Tylenol for good measure. I think we have the makings for a great party.
M: Not great. THE GREATEST.
Dylan: (still flailing) YAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
M: I’ll have my assistant draw up some plans in the morning.
Who wants to come to our rave, y’all?!?!