The Sound of my Addiction

“I had a Velcro wallet in a casino. That sound annoyed the hell out of me. Whenever I lost money, and I opened the wallet, it was like the sound of my addiction.”
-Mitch Hedberg

The following is my interpretation of this quote as it pertains to blogging:

I had a WordPress account on my computer.  The sound of fingers manic-ly typing on a keyboard annoyed the hell out of me.  Whenever I lost several hours of my day writing posts, reading others’ posts, and checking stats, and I logged into my account, it was like the sound of my addiction.

Recently, I was awarded a blogging award by the lovely Emily who writes The Waiting.  I love her blog.  I love seeing pictures of her baby.  She’d better be glad we don’t live closer or I may attempt a cuddle attack in a post-Kahlua cake stupor.  If you don’t know about her, and you refuse to click on the link I just provided for you, I’ll assume that you hate yourself and need some therapy.  In that case, process your feelings via your blog, dance it out to some Gaga, and come see me in the morning.

Emily gave me an award I had actually never heard of before:

And then I laughed, cuz there’s that word again.  Addiction.

I have many pet peeves concerning popular misconceptions of therapy or psychological disorders.  The biggest one is that when people use the word schizophrenic to refer to something that may be split or disjointed- this is false.  What you really mean is something closer to Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), which used to be known as Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD).
But I digress.  I apologize, cuz when I start talking about these misconceptions my eyes often turn the same color of the word addiction above.

Did you know that the word addiction in fact never appears in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-IV)?   I honestly don’t know where all the rhetoric around the word and its usage came about (perhaps the AA movement?  Anyone know?), but what I can tell you is that the proper diagnoses are basically defined thusly:

substance intoxication – recent ingestion, and showing symptoms of maladaptive behavioral or psychological changes

substance abuse – a maladaptive pattern of substance use leading to clinically significant impairment or distress

substance dependence – same symptoms from abuse, but you add symptoms of tolerance (a need for more and more of the substance to get the same high) and withdrawal (clinically significant distress or impairment due to cessation or reduction of using the substance) and a few other things like spending massive amounts of time obtaining the substance, etc.

I already diagnosed myself as being dependent on the substance called Draw Something, and I think it’s safe to say that I am dependent on blogging as well.  Add this to my list of neuroses.

Rules for this award are as follows:

1. Tell why I like to blog

2. Nominate ten others for the award

I like to blog because I eat, sleep, and poop introspection all day everyday.  My first journal entry was when I was 8 years old and got my ears pierced, and I’ve been journaling in some form on and off ever since.  For a while I even created audio journals with my friends when cassettes were cool and boomboxes were plentiful.

I decided to start a blog because I wanted to add another dimension to my personal, no-one-ever-read-this-or-I-will-chop-your-pinky-fingers-off diary.  Writing helps me to figure out who I am, what I like, what’s really important to me.  Plus, I realized that I was only writing in my diary when I felt mad or sad, and I wanted a record of happy, funny times as well.  I also went looking for community.  Feedback.  Conversation.  And I got it, boy howdy.

There’s also the part where I make my living by listening to people’s problems, and while I love doing that, I also like the chance to get my turn to speak.  So speak I shall.

Here’s a list of the blogs I enjoy reading the most (aside from The Waiting), and I’m probably dependent on them, considering I can’t get enough (also considering I get the shakes if I am away for too long):

Sweet Mother – She’s insightful, she’s eloquent, and she’s frickin funny.

Words for Worms – She loves books more than I love therapy!

Family Haikus – Hilarious stories about family life, plus poetry.

A Clown on Fire – Read at your own risk.

Never Contrary – I admire her skill of saying so much with so few words.

Speaker7 – She recrapped all of 50 Shades of Grey.  There’s nothing this woman can’t do.

Words Become Superfluous – Like word of the day for grown ups, plus Harry Potter references.

Raising My Rainbow – An awesome mom raising a gender-creative son.

Canadica – Where Canada and America form one hilarious blog.

Meet my new friend Lieb

Holy crabcakes and skittles!

It’s happened again.

And no, I am not talking about the creepy ghost boy next door, although I do hope he makes another appearance because I enjoy blogging about him.  I shall name him Seamus.

What’s happened is that Quirky Chrissy at blogofsamename nominated me for the Liebster blogging award!  And then, a few days later, another awesome blogger, Katie at Words for Worms nominated me part deux.   I am doubly honored.

First of all, what’s a Liebster?  Is that a cool nickname for the kid down the street named Lieb?  Cuz it sounds like that kid could use all the cool he can get.

Hey, give it to Lieb, he’ll like it!  Atta boy, Liebster!

I digress.

Without further ado, the rules:

  1. Each person must post 11 things about themselves.
  2. Answer the 11 questions the person giving the award has set for you.
  3. Create 11 questions for the people you will be giving the award to.
  4. Choose 11 people to award and send them a link to your post.  Go to their page and tell them.
  5. No tag backs.

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Eleven Things (imagine I just whispered those two words not unlike how the little girl in The Ring says Seven Days)

1. I watched The Ring once and then tried to sleep with the lights on.  Never again, my friends.  Never again.

2. I have recently gotten hooked on Game of Thrones even worse than that one time I got hooked on meth.  Let me tell you, no one is going to keep me from watching this show to avoid work and hard things.  You’ll have to scrape the images of this show from my corneas after having the executioner chop off my head in front of my children.  And also after I turn into a headless, undead white walker and try to eat your intestines.

3.  I have ingrown toenails, regrettably.

4.  This one time, while I was in high school, I sang so loud in the shower that my parents told me after I got out that they thought I was screaming for help.  Two things: first of all, thanks for the compliment on my singing.  Really, a great self-esteem boost.  Second, thanks for coming to check on me since I was apparently screaming bloody murder.  Appreciate it.

5.  This one time, during the first week of college, some kid said I looked like the chick who played the band camp girl in the American Pie movies.  I dressed up as her for the following Halloween.  That’s kinda two things for the price of one.  Consider yourself lucky.

6.  Speaking of Halloween, that’s my favorite holiday ever.  I usually try to dress up as some awesome character from pop culture from the past year (stay tuned for my Halloween post coming soon to a computer near you).  If planning this wedding wasn’t sucking the life out of me, I would totally be Effie Trinket for Halloween this year.  Sad face.

7.  If you don’t know who Effie Trinket is, you are dead to me.

8.  I am a better driver than Amanda Bynes.

9.  I totally queefed in yoga yesterday and it was really embarrassing.  That’s what I get for doing an awesome shoulder stand.

10.  When I was little, the shape of my head earned me the nickname of Peanut Head.  Good thing my hair grew in.

11.  I was the kid in Kindergarten who ate the paste.  It was sweet, you guys.  And grainy.  Kinda like a sticky pear.

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Answer 11 Things

I am picking the questions I like the best from the lists made by Quirky Chrissy and Words for Worms.

  1. What is your favorite Dr. Seuss story?  Cat in the Hat
  2. If your life were a movie what genre would it be?  A zomcom.  You know, a zombie comedy
  3. If you could sum yourself up in song lyrics, what song would it be?  Hand in My Pocket by Alanis Morisette
  4. What is the best Halloween costume you’ve ever had?  Daria.  My best friend was Jane.
  5. If you could have a super power, what would it be?  Katie’s answer is my answer.  Apparate, a la Harry Potter.  Hands down.
  6. What’s your favorite genre of book?  Hrm, I gravitate towards feminist nonfiction and young adult fantasy/distopia.
  7. Do you think you would survive a Zombie Apocalypse?  Oh hells yeah!  Already have a game plan.
  8. Name one thing you keep in your underwear drawer that isn’t underwear.  My cell phone charger, so my cat won’t chew it to bits.  That, and so I can say that I have electricity in my nethers.
  9. If you could meet any celebrity, who would you choose?  Ryan Gosling’s abs.
  10. If you could travel through time and space, where and when would you go? Sometime in the American 60s to witness the women’s movement.  And to get high.
  11. What is your biggest pet peeve?  People who have no self-awareness.

You know what?  Fuck the rules.  If you’ve read this post, consider yourself nominated.  You get to answer this one key question:

What is the funniest/most moving/most poignant quote or piece of advice you’ve ever read or been told?

Blog awards, food stories, and zombies

Once upon a time, a much simpler, more stressful time…a darker time, even…I got nominated for another blogging award!!!  It made me happy, and I said thanks, but then I entered a whirlwind of hard work directly followed by immense joy and haven’t really surfaced since.

Now’s the time to properly give thanks where thanks is due.

Without further ado, a huge thank you to Food Stories for ve’s Illuminating Blogger Award!!

A comment on me being nominated for this blog:

I think it’s hilarious.  For several reasons.

1. Ve’s blog is called Food Stories.  I assume this refers to the making of food, which I loathe.  It takes too long, it’s messy, I am not that good at it, and it takes too long.  I’m hungry.  I do like telling stories about eating food, though, so I guess we’re good.  I’m also once of those people who takes pics of yummy food whilst on vacation (hint of future blog posts to come, perhaps?).

2. The blog award is for “illuminating, informative blog content,” and I was awarded it through a comment on my post about how I used my investigative journalistic skills to expose a 20 year old lie I had been told by ruining the ending of a movie for all those who are seriously behind in their movie watching.  How’s that for illuminating, informative content?!  Take that, Brian Williams!  Next, I plan on single-handedly getting my ass down to Cuba and closing Gitmo.  Full report and book deal to follow.

….apparently “several reasons” turned into just two, cuz I can’t remember any more.

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Now I must share one random thing about myself:

Since settling into a more sedentary lifestyle after college and grad school, I have made more deliberate attempts to stay active.  I have been doing yoga for 9 years now, and it has become close to a religion for me.  It’s how I take care of my mind and body.  I hate more rigorous types of exercise that are just exercising for the sake of exercising, most of all running.  It’s boring, it’s hard, and it brings back horrible, traumatic memories from middle school PE.  Running can go run right off a bridge.

Interestingly enough, exercising has suddenly taken on a whole new meaning now that I am engaged.  I’ve never, ever had a goal of wanting to lose weight and that won’t change now,  I just suddenly have more motivation to look even more awesome.

Brian is a great motivator for me, and we run to the gym once a week together.  When mental images of me looking kickass in a wedding dress are no longer doing the trick, you know what does?

Zombies.

I imagine having to run from fast moving zombies (think 28 Days Later) and it actually gets me to keep running and to run faster.

Not only am I gonna be The Hotness in my dress, but I’ll also be ready for The End Times.  Booyah.

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Now it’s time to nominate some fellow bloggers!!

My first pick is the best, most awesome blog in terms of actually being illuminating and informative:  Let Life in Practices  This is the kind of blog that I wish I had the time and patience to write.

I am also nominating the blogs that I look forward to reading the most, and that makes them illuminating to me:

Speaker7

Sweet Mother

The Waiting

Family Haikus

Raising My Rainbow

Please check out these amazing women’s blogs!!!!