Let me preface this to say that I hate doing the dishes.
I grew up having to do them, and I think I’ll forever hate doing them because of that. And yet, I do them every single day because I hate cooking even more and we split those chores.
Soooo, when I’m doing dishes, I just wanna get shit done. Get out of my way so I can sit down, watch the Kardashians, and yell at them through a mouthful of mint chip straight from the carton (because that saves me having to wash a bowl).
The scene is last night right after dinner and I’m doing my thing at the sink.
Brian comes up beside me and yanks the faucet away just as I am reaching for it and our hands mash together that can in no way be thought of as romantic.
Me: *glare*
B: Aww, look, how cute! It’s just like in Lady and the Tramp!
Me: No, it’s not cute. If lady were real, she’d have said to Tramp, Hey Tramp! I’m fucking hungry! Give me that spaghetti or I will cut you. And then she does that guttural dog growl so show that she’s not messing with him.
B: …She seemed pretty nonchalant about it in the movie.
Me: That’s because she was took one too many Xanax because she was on a first date with cameras around and it’s a lot of pressure to live up to a name like hers in today’s society.
B: I think you’re reading into things a little too-
Me: A little too what? I’m washing knives right now and my hands are quite slippery. Wouldn’t want anything unfortunate to happen. *guttural dog growl*
B: *Backs away slowly while singing Bella Notte under his breath*
Me: Damnit, now I want spaghetti.
Psychobabble 