I haven’t posted since April, ugh. It’s been the longest break I’ve taken since I started blogging for realz in 2012.
I don’t even know what I want to say now…it’s more that I want to break the silent streak and hopefully gain some momentum from putting fingers to keys and seeing what comes out.
This summer is feeling like a great in-between time. The adults are vaccinated, but our kids are not. For me, getting vaccinated is the benchmark for feeling safe, for getting out and doing stuff.
We’ve been socializing more. It’s been weird. I’ve gone into people’s houses. What?!
Each summer here in the PNW I tend to feel a renewed urge to get out and be active, get fit. In an effort to do that, I fell off my bike and badly sprained my ankle. I think the universe is telling me to slow my roll.
As my depression lifted, and as the world opened up, my anxiety moved back in. Oh hey, look, you have some vacancies to fill. Don’t mind if I do.
I worked hard to find a therapist who 1) had openings – because therapists ARE FULL UP right now, and 2) was willing to see vaccinated folks in person. I knew I’d need the extra support for going back out into the world and processing all the shit we’d just been through. Also, I would like to go back to work at some point aaaaaand I’m gonna need to take care of myself first before I can get back into the therapy office as the shrink.
So far, this has been a summer of patience. Of healing. Of reconnecting. Of deciding on my boundaries moving forward.
This summer is the big reset.
Psychobabble 
I know just how your feel. We just got back from Colorado. We’re vaccinated and my brother and his wife are too, but in Colorado they have moved on almost like nothing ever happened. I nearly had a couple of panic attacks going to restaurants. Almost no one there is masked they’re not social distancing and we have been so careful at home. Slowly re integrating. It’s been a process. Getting food to go, eating out where and when it’s not busy. People here are still wearing masks and social distancing. Colorado was akin to ripping off the band aid. We did not want to wear our masks there for fear of be treated like pariahs. I had to keep reminding myself I’m vaccinated to ease my worry. We’ll get through this….hang in there.
Thanks for your comment. It’s nice to know I’m not alone
I totally feel you about trying to find balance.
This summer has been a reset for us too! Once we got vaxxed my summer was basically booked, lol. It’s been nice because I’m doing things I’ve been wanting to do for a long time, like find an actual yoga studio and meet some other childfree folks, but it’s hard to find balance and my social anxiety that I thought I had left in high school has popped back up . Slowing down is so hard when it feels like we can just now go again. So I feel you here!
I totally feel you about trying to find balance.
Thanks for posting. I’m looking for a therapist too. Fingers crossed.
Thanks for reading! Good luck finding a therapist. Ask about wait lists, and ask each therapist you speak to for other referrals. Yes, fingers crossed!
Excellent idea. Seems similar to a job hunt!
It very much is! I’ve even booked 3 consultations with separate therapists (as a client) to shop for the right fit.
Excellent, you’re on your way. : )