So, all you Mommy Bloggers out there – tell me how you do it.
Cuz I have no idea how to fit all the things to do into my day, plus blogging.
It’s quite ridiculous, really. All the things we’re told we should be doing as mothers.
I’m supposed to feed the squid every 2-3 hours. But first I have to change his diaper to help wake him up and/or calm him down before feeding. On a good day, this takes 5 minutes. On a bad one, he pees all over himself and then projectile poos all over the clean diaper I had waiting for him. So, sometimes “changing a diaper” can take 20 minutes. Then we breastfeed (The fact that we’re actually breastfeeding now is a whole other story. It used to be 20 minutes of let’s-scream-at-mommy’s-boobs-and-kick-and-squirm-fun-time. Not fun.) maybe 10-20 minutes each boob. And then, since I don’t make much milk (sad face), we supplement with formula, which takes another 10-20 minutes. And then he’s probably got himself a wet diaper (or worse) that needs attention. And THEN I try to pump, if he doesn’t scream when I set him down to do so.
By the time I am done pumping, he’s maybe asleep. Maybe. If he’s not, I start over to figure out what his boggle is. If he is, then I have a decision to make – do I try and sleep? (note the word “try.”) Or do I fold laundry? Or wash the bottles? Or cry in the bathroom? So many choices…
And then, it’s time to do it all over again.
There’s no time for it all. Do midwives and nurses and doctors hear themselves when they’re telling you to do all these things? Because I haven’t even mentioned the walks I’m supposed to be taking or the sitz baths or pooping or eating lunch or training for American Ninja Warrior.
And then there’s blogging.
So hang in there with me, Psychos, because I don’t plan on going anywhere. I just may have to start blogging during my scheduled crying-in-the-bathroom time instead.
I hope you and your baby are well. I had a very similar experience trying to breast feed as much as possible, pumping and supplementing with formula. The first few months are just such a blur.
A blur is right.
Emphasis on “Mommy” and not “blogger.”
Eddie wouldn’t nurse for the first week so I had to finger feed. I got about a 30 minute break to sleep/eat between bouts of attempted nursing, finger-pipette feeding with boob juice, attempted nursing, diaper changing/burping, pumping. It. Was. Tortuous. Thank goodness for oxytocin.
I’m sure it’s different for everyone, but I remember waking up from that horrendous feeding schedule to realize that somehow–without my realizing it–it had actually gotten easier. Almost intuitive.
You’ll find your way with your sweet baby boy.
Mine didn’t nurse for the first week either. For me things got easier once I stopped trying to do it all in the same day. Some days I’ll nap and some days I’ll pump, but not everyday.
I remember that….. and it does get better, but for a while there really is nothing more than that endless cycle of feeding/pumping/holding/crying/changing/trying to sleep/crying/etc…. and precious little time for much else. I did a lot on the computer with a baby attached to my boob…. although it’s frustrating typing one handed (unless you can figure out the sling to nurse hands free, would be AWESOME). I think for me at least, it was around the 5 month mark when I realized I had sometimes a whole 20 minutes to myself….. and also with my 3rd, I would start reading for my own pleasure when he napped, for his incredibly short naps…. I just decided I needed SOME time for myself, and it was always more fun trying to lug laundry baskets up and down the stairs while holding him anyway…. hang in there, and good luck to you! :)
I have typed many emails one handed in the past few weeks. Even now, he’s strapped to me in the baby bjorn. And for now, when I do need time to myself to poop or eat lunch, sometimes that means I have to let him scream. Sigh.
Thanks for saying that it gets better.
Welcome to wild and wooly and entirely psycho world of parenting! Try placing a cloth diaper over his Little Man parts, when you’re changing him; sometimes it helps avoid the peeing on you/himself dilemma. All that nursing stuff is so hard and challenging, so bravo to you for sticking with it and still getting anything out! So glad to see any post from you… ;-) ((hugs))
Easy. You know how they say “sleep when the baby sleeps”? Just blog when the baby blogs.
I needed a laugh today.
Don’t be so hard on yourself, mama. Mommyhood is a hard job for sure especially when you’re a first time mom, but it gets better, trust me.
Do what you can, when you can (and feel like it). When my first was a few months old, I discovered babywearing. It would allow me to actually do things around the house (we’re not talking spotless house, just basic stuff like dishes and laundry) and would have the added advantage of getting him to sleep (which wasn’t his favourite activity).
I typically can write a post in 24 to 48 hours. My usual blogging time is when baby #2 is nursing. Since she’s a speed nurser (complete with hiccups and spit-up) it can take me quite a few nursing sessions to finish up a post.
Chin up mama, you’re doing great!
Ah, don’t misunderstand me – this post was pushing back at all the people throwing “shoulds” at me- not at myself.
Thanks for reading.
Oh Mama, it’ll be ok. I’m a single Mom with Cancer and while my daughter is six years old as opposed to 6 months old, I find it equally as difficult to post as frequently as I would like to. While she’s in school, I’m usually sitting in a waiting room somewhere, so I have to use those moments–in the waiting room, on the subway etc to use my WP app to write. It’s much more difficult–hard to upload photos and stuff, so when I get a few moments to myself, I fix up the ugly format from my phone posts on my computer. Of course, I have to do this when she’s not around, because once I pull out the laptop, she wants to play MY Little Pony on the HUB network website. I’ve had long absences from blogging, but I always come back and you will too!!!
I do plan to blog when I can, maybe nonsensical posts in the middle of the night :)
Thanks for reading.
Like they said. Sleep when the kid sleeps. That’s my only advice. Oh! And don’t do the sad face about breast feeding. The big fat dirty lie that is perpetuated in our society (at least among those with more education), is that breast feeding just comes naturally and you just have to keep at it. No! No! No! I say. For some of us, it’s hard. Some of us don’t have enough milk and some of our babies just suck at sucking. (See what I did there???) We don’t tend to brag about supplementing, but there are plenty of moms who have supplemented, for whatever reason. You’re doing great! You actually got to the computer at all.
I have a right to feel sad about not making enough milk to feed my baby, as it is my personal preference to be able to exclusively breastfeed him, but I am accepting of reality.
Thanks for reading.
Yes, of course, you have a right to be sad. Didn’t mean to belittle that feeling. I wanted to exclusively breastfeed, too, but it just wasn’t going to happen. I wish others had been more understanding of my situation. I felt guilty enough already.
I can definitely identify with the guilty feelings.
I feel your pain!!!! Most of my,blogging happens between the hours of midnight and 8 am. There’s an occasional nap time,I can get things done, but whoa, it’s tough to keep up! Hang in there and just do what you can! Your baby is the most important thing ☺
Thanks. I’ll see you in the middle of the night then :)
You obviously have what we lovingly refer to as “It All Wrong!” You are doing a terrible job! I mean seriously! I am assuming you don’t even have a hot meal on the table for your man when he comes home, right? Shameful!
Seriously Doll, the only thing you’ve got wrong is your expectations. Take a deep breath. Relax as much as you can. Squid is just like any other crazy animal and will pick up on your anxiety and fear… then they’ll have you right where they want you! I’m guessing this is your first baby, by the desperation. So enjoy your blogging lull, because in no time at all you will have more material than you ever dreamed of and it will just flow! Plus, if you have more children, you will look back and laugh at all the things you stressed about with your first child. From my oldest who is 12 to my youngest who is 4… it’s like I’m not even the same parent. You begin to realize that YOU know more as your baby’s mother than any doctor, midwife, nurse,book combined.
So give yourself a break and a CHANCE for goodness sake! You’ve got this, but it takes time for everyone. EVERYONE! Just love your baby and yourself. Everything else will fall into place. Promise!
My expectations? I never said I expected to do all those things in a day – quite the opposite, I said it wasn’t possible.
I do agree with you on the part that I know more than any doctor. Definitely.
Thanks for reading.
Bless your mommy heart. Take a breather and pat yourself on the back for doing a great job. Yes it is really that hard and hectic, it’s not just you. Trust me. My best advice is to just let things fall apart and be in love with your uh squid. :-) All the bottles and mess will be there. A neighbor friend of mine told me “what do you want to remember from that time? That you had a clean house?” Take heart and love yourself and the rest will came together. And the. Fall apart. Rinse. Repeat. Big love to you new Mama. Welcome to the Mommy Blogger club. It’s awesome to have you here. And ps. If you have any breastfeeding questions… I’m sorta an expert so fire away! Xoxo.
Thanks! The support is appreciated.