My Playful Little Goober

You know what?

I’m in love with you, you little goober.

In a fellow mommy blogger’s post, she once mentioned that she could characterize each of her children’s behavior in utero using one word.

I think your word is playful.

Sometimes you want to play when I want to sleep.

Sometimes, when I get up to pee at night and probably wake you up, you give me a little tap, tap just to say hi.

The other day, you were tap dancing on my cervix, probably because you thought it was funny.  It was not.  Ouch.

It’s gotten to the point where your little drumstick limbs are strong enough that most of your kicks and punches can be seen from the outside.  This means that your uterine cage fighting often upstages the TV, which is pretty impressive.  I mean, the other day I was minding my own business, trying to watch Derek Hough’s abs Dancing With The Stars, and I actually paused the TV several times just to stare at my belly.  It was amazing.  YOU are amazing.  You already make me feel guilty for doing cardio while I am stuffing my face with Cherry Garcia.  Jerk.

Today, for reasons unknown, you scrunched your entire self over into the right side of my uterus.  Why?!  Why would you do such a thing?  Was it on a dare?  Because I don’t see how that could be comfortable in the slightest; it certainly wasn’t for me.  It looked like my belly was made of clay and that I had fallen down on my left side, causing the clay to squish in on the left and out at a freakishly bulbous angle on the right.  It took several jabs from me to get your cute little baby ass to move back into a more respectable position.  If you were playing sardines, I hope you won, cuz bravo, Little Duck, bravo.  After you’ve broken out and I can’t find you, I’ll remember to look in compact spaces.

Be warned that my abdominal area is prime real estate.  Later on today the cat requested napping space adjacent to your ever-expanding lofted apartment, and things must have gotten a little tense.  I guess I’m going to have to teach you to share a little sooner than I thought, because you ended up kicking the cat several times in the face.  Bless my furry love child, for she either didn’t notice, or didn’t care enough to give up the comfort that is my lap.  I kinda wanted her to notice, though, because that shit was hilarious.  I hope this is an indication that you two will become fast friends who occasionally breakdance fight each other.

I’m so excited, Little Duck.  I can’t wait to meet you, for reals.

I can’t wait to see what kind of person you become, and what kind of parent you make me be.

But so far, I know that you have a wicked sense of humor, which is good.  You’re going to need it.




18 responses

  1. Pingback: I’ve Found Your Word | Psychobabble

  2. This may sound crazy, but all these years later… seriously, all these years… I still sometimes miss my babies in utero! For real. I used to put the remote on my belly, and watch my kids move it. I put headphones on my belly and was so excited to see which songs they liked… once they were born, they still liked/disliked the songs that they responded to in utero. What magic. Your post makes me miss that… Lovely!

  3. I stumbled upon your blog quite by accident, and I’m glad I did! Such a funny account of soon-to-be-motherhood. I look forward to hearing more as it happens!

  4. I’m excited for you. I’m a rookie grandpa enjoy the crap out of myself. Sending healthy, happy thoughts your way. Peace and best, John

  5. One of the coolest things is that when your baby comes out and you watch him or her move, you will recognize their motions. To this day when I look at my sons knees I can still see them poking out of my belly when I was preg with him. Enjoy the journey. It’s so amazing. And I LOVE this post. Xox.

  6. I think you’ve got it all down pat already. I had two in utero, and I can tell you that they were exactly the same on the inside as they are on the outside. One was frenetic and always on the go, pushing his brother out of the way. The other was content to take a back seat to his brother and sat calmly for long periods. It’s funny that they’re born with a template of who they’re going to be already.

    I am very excited for you! How long to go?

  7. Oh, I remember those days when my belly looked like an alien was trying to push its way out–an arm here, a leg there, a good head-butt to the bladder there. It’s such a treat to finally meet those little munchkins, isn’t it? Very exciting!

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