Brian is reading off the crock pot box about all its bells and whistles. We’re about to open it – finally, as it was a wedding gift – in an effort to help get us through this colder-than-expected Oregon winter.
The following is a dramatic reenactment, based on true events.
B: “Wow! It says 6 quarts, 7 people! This is going to be great!”
Me: “Wait, what? It can hold 6 quarts or 7 people? Is this marketed to serial killers?!”
B: “Uh, I think it means 6 quarts will feed 7 people.”
Me: “But it didn’t say that, did it? See here, it just says ‘7 people.’ It says nothing about feeding. I bet there are instructions in there on how to cut the people up properly so they all fit inside.”
B: “I seriously doubt that.”
Me: “Remember, I’ve never used a crock pot before. I’ve also never killed anyone, but you’ve got to admit, this sounds like an interesting way to finish the job. Is it at least marketed to the growing cannibal population?”
B: “I’m going to ignore that last comment.”
Me: “I hope you brought home some Chianti.”
Psychobabble 
I definitely can’t fit 7 people in my tiny little crock pot. Only one or two. I feel like I got ripped off.
That sucks.
Perhaps a strongly worded letter is in order.
I don’t think you could fit 7 people in a crock pot. Maybe if you dig a trench in your backyard?
If you can’t fit that many, then the crock pot company had a lawsuit coming for false advertising.
When we were first married, we listened to book on tape (yes, that long ago!) of Silence of the Lambs. I can still hear the narrator’s voice… it was THE creepiest thing ever. Whenever he did Hannibal’s voice, oooh, wilies! Seriously, it was (nearly) as scary as the movie! I use my crock pot to make some mean, yummy stew/soups. Love curry/cumin mixes… yum! BTW: you two are just adorable!
We ended up making beef stew and it was delicious! Better than humans, methinks.
I’ve never used a crockpot. Now, the moment I do, I’m totally checking out it’s people capacity. Talk about your all day stew.
It’s hearty and filling.
As long as it’s not too heady. It’s okay though if you find the right finger food on the side.
With the last line you pulled it off, Hannibal. John
*insert the noise he makes by sucking air in between his tongue and teeth*
…and some Fava beans.
I love that movie.
Creepy as all hell.
Oh, to be a fly on the wall in your home! Too funny.
I love my crockpot, but I’ve never used it for bodies yet. I’m always so behind the times…
I’ll let you know how it goes.