Bridezillas are made, not born

I am exhausted, you guys.

Seriously, people keep asking me if I am excited about my upcoming wedding, and…I’m not.

I mean, I want to get married and I feel like I have been waiting for this for forever, but the planning, ooh the planning, has just sucked the life out of me and I have no energy left.

What energy I do muster up is spent on my clients, and after that, I have nothing left.

It doesn’t help that my dress was 5 weeks late and I just got to see it yesterday for the first time since ordering it in January.  And now I have to bend over backwards to get this thing altered in time.  And it’s great that the bridal shop is compensating me with reduced fees, but you know what I really want?  I want them to erase the anxiety I went through.  The anxiety I still have and can’t seem to shake.

Which brings me to another subject….

I’ve been reading Quiet by Susan Cain, and even though I am not finished yet (I have much less time for reading these days), it’s been soooo validating.  While I always knew that I was on the introverted side of the spectrum, I never knew that all these things about my personality tied into all those introvert personality traits.  Since introverted traits are often pathologized, (“She just needs to come out of her shell,” and “Why are you so quiet?  Are you mad at me?”) it was awesome to read a different spin – that I groove better with a lesser level of stimulation, is all.

I plan to blog more about my introversion later, but this brings me back to the wedding stuff.  In theory, I like being the center of attention, but in reality I often shy away.  And at weddings, the bride is the center of attention.  Let’s face it, I’m going to look smashing in my fluffy white dress, so can you blame people?  There’s also a shitload of stimulation going on at a wedding, especially at your own.  I’ll be going around talking to everyone, which don’t get me wrong – it’s going to be awesome – but it’s also going to be taxing.

I suppose I just wonder how I am going to handle it.  I guess that’s what my groom is for, to help me get through this…I mean, he’s an introvert, too.  Maybe we need to have a safety word or something for when it’s time to go hide in the bathroom.  It’s ok, because people will just assume we’re going in there to bang.

Speaking of hiding in the bathroom, I totally understand how bridezillas are made.  That’s right, they aren’t born, they’re made.  The evil wedding factory takes in perfectly rational, in-love (oxymoron?) engaged females, throws them into the fires of Mt. Doom and cranks out bridezillas like evil furby dolls, except less hairy and with more lace.  Their fiances won’t recognize them anymore.  The bridezillas will burst into tears because they stepped in cat vomit that morning and their poor gentlemen will be at a loss as to how to console them.  And then the bridezillas set fire to the house.

So, this is where I am right now.  Maybe a tad bit of an exaggeration, but you get it.  And I am going to a wedding this weekend…mixed feelings about that.  On one hand, it’s a break from planning, a break from stress, a break from my life.  I’ll get to watch people in love (!) and I’ll get to eat and drink and dance.  But it’s also time away from planning, which let’s face it, may make me even more stressed.  And, I mean, it’s a wedding, so it’ll kinda remind me of my own and how it just needs to GET HERE.

16 responses

  1. I’m way behind in my blogging life, but I’ve just been reading some of your recent posts and I TOTALLY agree on the introvert thing. I am also an introvert marrying an introvert and I am dreading being the center of attention. DREADING IT.

    Also, I’m so sorry your wedding didn’t turn out the way you planned. I hope your honeymoon made up for it at least a little and from one stressed out bride-to-be to another (who survived), I offer the largest of internet hugs.

  2. “The evil wedding factory takes in perfectly rational, in-love (oxymoron?) engaged females, throws them into the fires of Mt. Doom and cranks out bridezillas like evil furby dolls, except less hairy and with more lace.” I still have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. I have this mental image of Gollum overseeing the production of these bridezillas and giving them each their own “precious” at the end. Oh boy, I think I need a life. lol

  3. I have always maintained that with the planning of weddings, it’s a wonder anyone actually gets married! Deep breaths dear Lyssa and a reassuring hug, for good measure. Love the idea of a safety word… And how dum would it be to actually slip off with your handsome new husband and rind each other why you’re doing/did all of this! ;-) Deep breaths, until then.

  4. I know exactly how you feel. By the time the wedding was a mere few weeks away, everyone kept asking “Are you excited?” (in which I for some reason feel the need to ask new brides because what else are you supposed to say? Sorry, Ladies.) and I wanted to punch them in the face. NO, I am not excited. Can’t this thing just be done and over with already? k. was right, the goal is to be married and I succeeded in that, so I was cool with it but man, I slept more on our honeymoon than I was awake. Good luck, you’ll do fine!

  5. It’s not something that’s easy to own up to, but I did not *love* my wedding. I do not like being put on the spot, I do not like making small talk, I do not like feeling everyone is looking at me and judging me based how I’m comporting myself. If I had it my way, I would’ve/should’ve eloped. But, you know, family.

    At the end of the day, I ended up married and that was the goal.

    • “But, you know, family” BIZACTLY.
      Although, see I am torn. Part of me wants all the hoopla, and a part of me is terrified of it.
      My partner and I keep saying how there is a reason why we’re only going to do this once. NEVER AGAIN.

  6. “The evil wedding factory takes in perfectly rational, in-love (oxymoron?) engaged females, throws them into the fires of Mt. Doom and cranks out bridezillas like evil furby dolls, except less hairy and with more lace.” This phrase made my day. And it is so true. I am going crazy just knowing there’s less than a month left.

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