My Tainted Love

I look over at the kitchen table, which has become Wedding Central over the past several months, piled high with brochures, copies of contracts, and color swatches.

Me to Brian: Hey, what is this stuff?

(I am pointing to a book and a hat that doesn’t belong in Wedding Central.)

Brian: That’s my Lance Armstrong stuff that I want to get rid of, but can’t decide exactly what to do with it.

Me: Well, it’s tainting our wedding stuff. Move it.

Brian: By “tainting” do you mean getting ridiculously buff, winning, and then lying about it?

Me: ….no. TAINTING. Like, making it dirty.

Brian: Don’t talk about dirty taints.

Me: If we end up getting divorced, I’m blaming Lance. Also, this goes on the blog.

Brian: Fair enough.

——–

In other news, I was adding the tags to this post, and I actually had to ask Brian, “since this post talks about taint so much, does that qualify as a poop joke?”

His answer: “close enough.”

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19 responses

  1. I would say the inclusion of taint multiple times could arguably qualify as a poop joke. Congratulations on your engagement! Taint jokes have kept my marriage alive for almost five years, so I would like to extend this bit of wisdom as an engagement gift ;)

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