I. Have. Arrived.

Holy shitsnacks and crapnuggets, you guys!!

I HAVE BEEN FRESHLY PRESSED!!!

Incredulous with joy!Notice I had to black out the porn sites I was visiting.

Incredulous with joy!
Notice I had to black out the porn sites I was visiting.

I am surfacing briefly from the orgy of likes, page views, comments, and follows that is currently blowing up on my phone and browser…and let me tell you, this shit is satisfying.

I feel validated beyond any ego-stroking therapy session, so thank you to everyone who stroked my furry walls!

I got The Email on Wednesday and was then left to alternate between manically refreshing WordPress.com and stuffing chocolate in my mouth while pacing my hallway in anticipation for about a day and a half.

As soon as I read the email, I immediately felt this rush of excitement and pure joy…which quickly melted away into intense, crippling anxiety.  Holy frick!  People are actually going to read the word vomit that I splash onto my very small corner of the internets.  I quickly went back to reread the post I had written to ascertain just how humiliated I should plan to be.  Did my post contain any typos?  Was it funny?  Was I going to get any snotty comments?  As I read, I remembered that I had written this post all in one sitting while I was still suffering from the tail end of a 3 day long migraine (what possessed me to do that, I have no idea.  On second thought, maybe it was the meth).  I also realized that I was actually proud of this particular migraine-stupor-induced post.  Feeling oddly content and allowing some of the excitement to return, I sat back and awaited the orgy that I woke up to this morning.

Funny, I started this blog not considering myself a writer; I was just a therapist with an anal Freudian complex who wanted to dick around on the internet and see what happened.  And now…I guess I’m kinda a writer.  And that feels kindof awesome.

So far today, I have gotten more than 4 times the page views I got on my previously best day of blogging, which is also probably 10 times the views I get on an average day…and counting.

I hope I have plenty of lube.

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44 responses

  1. Congratulations on becoming famous. I love that picture of you staring in astonishment at your computer. You sure are adorable. Glad to see you getting recognized for being awesome.

  2. My favorite part about this photo? Your nose freckles. Adorable. I’m glad wordpress got around to noticing how awesome you are. Keep kicking ass. Let me know if you get trolls. I’ll passive aggressively troll them into submission.

  3. Totally know what you’re saying. I just got the e-mail on Tuesday and did the exact same thing. Surprisingly, I’ve only gotten one slightly dick-ish comment, and that was from some guy who reblogged, so joke’s on him. I, too, encountered the terror that is gown shopping. I got the joy of hearing all about my hips being big? Which I never really noticed before. Funny how bitchy some of those keepers can be. I ended up buying one online sight unseen from that “I Found the Gown” store and, miraculously, it worked. Although, it is like 3 sizes too big. Whatever. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed! I’m looking forward to following your antics :)

  4. Congrats… now you have peaked and you can begin the slide back into obscurity. Now what was that part about stroking your furry walls, because I don’t know if I know what that means… and I sort of want to.

  5. Congratulations! I could understand that thrill of page views, let alone the feelings of last minute proofreading under the pressures of sudden publicity. I started less than a month ago, and I have already reached well over my 1K mark. It intrigues me with motivation to publish even more blog posts as soon as I fly by my views on my busiest day record. The viewers alone are enough to satisfy my desire to write more. I wish you best of luck in the future. Take care, dear.

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