Therapists do it on the couch

…and I did it!!

On an office chair. Staring at a computer screen. I lasted for almost two hours, and I double clicked a mouse a few times.

And actually, besides being very tired and $100 poorer afterward, this therapist licensing exam had little to do with sexy times. Unless you also stay up late studying therapeutic techniques in order to have better success during sexy times. In which case I pity you. Go get some sleep.

But I digress from the real issue – which is, as soon as the paperwork and my check goes through, I WILL BE A LICENSED THERAPIST!!!

How cool is that, you ask rhetorically? Pretty damn cool, I answer needlessly. Except that “therapist” can be broken down into “the rapist,” and the work that I do is often with rape survivors. I’ve always hated that. Thanks a lot, SNL.

In other news, the letters after my name will soon be MFT, which Brian lovingly says stands for Mutha Fuckin’ Therapist. I foresee this going on my business cards.

The exam I took today was the second and final exam of the licensing process to become a Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of California. At least this exam was half as long as the first (the first being a grueling four hours long), but the questions on this one were far more complicated and confusing. If there’s one thing I hate, it’s an exam that makes me second guess myself, and there was a lot of that going on today. But neverfear, for I persevered and I emerged triumphant!

Speaking of triumphant, the weather today in the area was awesomely correlated to my day. I woke up nervously to overcast skies that quickly gave way to pouring rain (which is pretty rare for this area in the summer). I drove to the exam in that rain, where my anxiety reached its peak. When I emerged from the testing facility all smiles, the rain had stopped, the clouds had parted, the sun was shining, and I swear I could hear angels singing along with my joy.

Speaking of joy, this is what it looks like:

I’d like to thank all of my professors, clinical supervisors, coworkers, and my clients past and present for helping me to learn and grow and make mistakes. And I’d like to thank my friends and family for listening to me vent about the former, but also for supporting me no matter what.

Also, one of my supervisors once said that significant others of people going through the therapy licensing process should get their own special award of recognition, and I wholeheartedly agree. It must suck to watch me learn all these new therapy techniques and then cower in fear as I unleash them on the relationship. Thanks for sticking with me through this whole thing, B. You’re kind of awesome.

And now on to more important things: I have to figure out how I want to change the tagline of this blog, for the “almost” is no longer needed. Winning suggestions get a cookie.