I look over at the kitchen table, which has become Wedding Central over the past several months, piled high with brochures, copies of contracts, and color swatches.
Me to Brian: Hey, what is this stuff?
(I am pointing to a book and a hat that doesn’t belong in Wedding Central.)
Brian: That’s my Lance Armstrong stuff that I want to get rid of, but can’t decide exactly what to do with it.
Me: Well, it’s tainting our wedding stuff. Move it.
Brian: By “tainting” do you mean getting ridiculously buff, winning, and then lying about it?
Me: ….no. TAINTING. Like, making it dirty.
Brian: Don’t talk about dirty taints.
Me: If we end up getting divorced, I’m blaming Lance. Also, this goes on the blog.
Brian: Fair enough.
——–
In other news, I was adding the tags to this post, and I actually had to ask Brian, “since this post talks about taint so much, does that qualify as a poop joke?”
His answer: “close enough.”
I would say the inclusion of taint multiple times could arguably qualify as a poop joke. Congratulations on your engagement! Taint jokes have kept my marriage alive for almost five years, so I would like to extend this bit of wisdom as an engagement gift ;)
Thanks! I don’t plan to stop the taint jokes any time soon.
I love when you write about your conversations with B-Man! ;o) Always gives me a laugh… and reminds me of my conversation with my hubby! Humour in a marriage is such a blessing! :o)
Ha, do you and your hubbs talk about taint, too?!
Of course… and about so many other gross things too!
Excellent!
Seconding the idea that you carry around a tape recorder to capture all of your conversations with Brian. They’re too good to miss!
Or I can just remember them all in such a way that incriminates him. I like this idea better.
Oooh yes. As do I. Much more potential here!
You are meant to be ;)
meant to be…fabulous?
hitched for all eternity ;)
awwww!! Thanks!
…and before someone else grabs the low hanging fruit…
(This cover is much better than the original.)
I can’t stand the way you teeeeeaase.
again, hilarious. you could do a whole separate blog solely on your conversations to one another. they absolutely kill me. xoxo, sm
I could! I think I need to carry around a hot tape recorder in my pocket at all times.
Hey–I used taint in my post too. I feel we have a cosmic connection now.
sending you tainted cosmic vibes.