Backstory: I come from a basketball family, and my dad still coaches and plays. Since the domestic violence shelter I work at has a basketball hoop, from time to time my dad donates some basketballs so the chillins can put some mustard on their game.
Brian and I went grocery shopping yesterday after a visit with my parents, and we’re in the parking lot loading grocery bags into the trunk of my car.
Me: Get my dad’s balls out of the way.
Brian: They keep rolling around. Why are they so leathery and beat-up?
Me: He uses them outside everyday at lunch, and the blacktop is really rough on them.
Brian: Oh, so that’s why he keeps giving them away?
Me: Yeah, when they look like this, they’re no longer good be played with.
Brian: Ha, so then he gives them to kids.
Me: Better than throwing them away.
Brian: Put the balls in that sack so they don’t roll and crush the food.
Me: Ok, I’ll put them in the ball sack for the ride home.
Where was Alec when you need him?
That is a beautiful conversation. I’m glad that I am not the only one who does that. Though I have never talked about my dad’s balls. And I never intend to. Ever.
Always take the high road.
I LOVED THIS. apparently all it takes to get me warmed up on cold mornings are some good ball jokes. who knew? :-)
Good to know! :)
No innuendo there whatsoever.
These are not the balls you are looking for.
sent you a gmail, chickadee. let me know if you received it. and NO pressure whatsoever…xo, sm
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Thanks!!!!! :)
Leathery. Ugh! This was great — I love me some good ball talk! And my takeaway here is that you use the word “sack.” I’ve tried to beat the Midwestern out of me but still I hear myself saying “sack” at the grocery store checkout lane. It’s disgusting and offensive.
It really is…potato sack races should be outlawed.
absolutely feckin’ hilarious… more basketball ball stories! MORE. loooool. lmao
I sincerely hope they’re aren’t any more of those stories…
Hahahaha! Those are the best kinds of conversations.
They really are. I need to start audiotaping my life.
THAT was an interesting conversation. I’ll bet that had people turning heads!
pretty much.
so leathery and beat-up : I laughed lol
My goal in life was achieved!
The psychologist in you must go batty during these conversations…
My Freudian senses were tingling.
HAhahaha! That is classic.
Ball related jokes are pretty classic.
I seem to recall that Adam and Eve were constantly making ball jokes.
Wow, you’re old.
Very funny blog. As was the SNL skit with Alec Baldwin’s balls. I would have liked to seer the whole thing again but the parking lot and your father’s leathery balls was just as good.
I’m not sure if it was just as good, but at least it was just as disturbing.
Yes. It was disturbing.
Bwahahahaha. Schweddy balls. I love it.
…have you seen that whole sketch before? Cuz I think that you tube video cut off the best part…
Yes! Actually, I remember watching it the first time it was on. I went through an SNL phase in my tween-teen years. Hilarious.
Oh good. Just checking.
So how many people are standing around when you have these conversations? And do they carry loudspeakers?
There were a few. A handful. A crowd formed.
Unfortunately, our voices carry well enough to not need amplification of any sort.