Death of a Hairy Beast

He knew his days were numbered.

How did he know?  Just a feeling… The evil glares from the female were becoming more frequent and somehow even more tempestuous than usual.  He saw the flash of a sharp blade being placed on the counter and the unmistakable slurpy fizzle of Gillette exiting the can.

Could it be?  He’d lasted over a year, longer than expected.  He saw birthdays, anniversaries, made it for the backpacking trip.  He posed for pictures, he shat in bathroom cups.  He was tolerated.

And now it was time to go down in a display of frothy white, hairy glory.  Now it’s time to say goodbye.

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To be fair, he wasn’t all bad.  He actually made Brian look older and more rugged, just a different version of himself.  Looking back, I am surprised that I got so used to having him around that it’s a bit of a shock now that he’s gone…even though him being gone is the default state, the normal one.

We may meet again one day, Bearduardo.  Don’t think I don’t know that.  If you decide to come back, I’ll be ready.

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34 responses

  1. Ugh I don’t know if you had a particular hatred for Bearduardo, but I hate my fiance’s facial hair. And he has some weirdness about never wanting to shave because his dad made him do it every morning growing up. (Since he probably had a full beard by the 5th grade, I guess that’s a lot of time.) No-Shave November is the worst because then he vows to never even clean it up around the edges…but this year I figured two could play at that game and didn’t see a razor for a month myself muahaha.

  2. Nice! My Brian has always had something of a light beard…He grew out some crazy design for Halloween last year, and then had to shave it all off. It was nice for like 5 minutes…and then the stubble returned. :)

  3. This could not have come at a better time. My husband finally shaved his Am-stache today (that’s my insanely clever way of describing his huge Amish beard) and I couldn’t be happier. Beards are for unattached males.

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